I’m a straight poly male. My wife, another woman, and I all love each other and want to form a triad, but the women are also both straight, and so they are not interested in sex with each other. Would this triad be doomed? —InTheMiddle
Not at all. Polyamory is first and foremost about the emotional aspect, the loving feelings, which you’ve said you all feel in all combinations. That’s the essential ingredient. Who shares sex with whom and under what circumstances, or not at all, is secondary. There are numerous successful triads in which the partners of the same gender share sex not with each other but only with their shared partner of the other gender. The nonsexual partners still have a strong caring bond between them. There can even be asexual triads.
In your situation, your two women might enjoy giving you sexual pleasure simultaneously, even though not pleasuring each other. That’s one option. Or you can enjoy twosomes with each of them separately. And then the three of you can enjoy nonsexual activities all together, living together or not.
The same principle would apply, of course, if the genders were reversed from your own situation—one woman with two straight male lovers. I’ve also heard of other “V” combinations, such as a lesbian, a bi woman, and a man.
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